Happy Valentine’s Day! Regardless if you think Valentine’s Day is just another Hallmark holiday or you go all out with plans, 5 Love Languages: The Secret To Love That Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman is a tool that is beneficial for those who are single or in a relationship.
Before writing the book, Dr. Chapman spent years taking notes with couples he was counseling when he recognized a pattern. He realized that the couples were misunderstanding one another and each other’s needs. The basis of Chapman’s book is that different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways. When you learn your own love language and your partner’s, you’ll be able to identify the roots of your conflicts, connect more deeply, and grow closer.
As the title suggests, there are 5 different love languages. They are:
Physical touch: A hug or cuddling makes your partner feel loved! People with physical touch as their love language feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection, including kissing, holding hands, or cuddling. Physical intimacy and touch can be incredibly affirming and serve as a powerful emotional connector for people with this love language.
Acts of service: Actions speak louder than words! If your love language is acts of service, you value when your partner goes out of their way to make your life easier. It’s things like bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you’ve had a busy day at work.
Receiving gifts: Gifts (big or small) make these people feel loved! This is a pretty straightforward love language: You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman calls it. It’s not about the monetary value but the symbolic thought behind the item. People with this love language recognize and value the gift-giving process, particularly the thought that goes into each gift.
Quality time: Put your phone down – these people crave your undivided attention! People whose love language is quality time feel the most loved when their partner actively wants to spend time with them. They particularly love when you actively listen, make eye contact, and give them your full presence.
Words of affirmation: Use your words to tell your partner just how much you love and appreciate them! People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent “I love you’s,” compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement.
My love language is acts of service, and my fiancé’s is physical touch. I never knew there were different love languages before I read this book. Learning your partner’s love language is just as important as knowing your own. You may express affection to your partner regularly, but do you take the time to make sure you’re communicating it the way your partner wants to receive it?
Dr. Chapman has a quiz available for anyone to take (find it here!) The quiz is quick to take and at the end you’ll find out your love language.
If you know your love language, what is it? If you’re in a relationship, what is your partner’s? How do you show love in their language and vice versa?
Have a great Valentine’s Day!
Thoughts From A Lefty 